my girlfriend blindsided me

Moved into our new place last July. This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and personFacebook Comments. Also, it is possible that you are drawn to dramatic relationships. That’s one of the things that totally blindsided me with me trying to trust and make things work. We have 2 little girls, I know I have my faults but she just blindsided me. She can't see it. This post was originally published here on Dr. Psych Mom. Order her book, How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family. First Sunday of March was totally fine. April 1, 2013. I just don’t know what to do. So my girlfriend completely blindsided me on Monday with a breakup. After a breakup, it can be excruciating to deal with all of this, but, before doing anything rash — like sliding into your ex's DMs — you should consider what's going on behind the scenes. [Read: How taking a break in a relationship works] So, that leaves you thinking, “My girlfriend wants a break… but why?” Possible reasons your girlfriend … Previous post I've started smoking again and have been in a drunken stupor for the last 60 hours. She can’t see it. Order Dr. Rodman’s newest book, 52 Emails to Transform Your Marriage and order her first book: How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family, This blog is not intended as medical advice or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional. ‘We spent eight months researching and developing a range of nine products, including shampoo and cleansing lotion, with me using my daughters and their friends for feedback,’ says Charlotte-Anne. Hello guys, So my girlfriend and I met 2 years ago in college and we're basically inseparable. Then she got new friends, and started going to bars a lot. If you try this advice and it does not work for you, you cannot sue me. Know you’re not alone. My girlfriend and her cousin blindsided me with their future plans during Thanksgiving and I'm not sure what to think I've been with my gf for a bit more than 2 years now and our relationship is great, it is by far the longest and best relationship I've had with someone romantically. She moved all of her stuff out never when I was home like she can't face me. This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and personFacebook Comments. Read more in our, Since then we got back and started to be good again. Since then we got back and started to be good again. 1. Completely blindsided me and busted my lip. But now, you have to respect her desire to be single. I'm sorry this has been so hard for you. And she then apologized to THEM not me, for what I did... and this was in January. I just don't know what to do. So my girlfriend completely blindsided me on Monday with a breakup. It seems like a lot of game playing. You broke up with her to teach her a lesson, but it end up backfiring. Relationships. Know you’re not alone. I've started smoking again and have been in a drunken stupor for the last 60 hours. I think that you and your girlfriend both need some more life experience before settling down. eharmony Staff. comments. If you try this advice and it does not work for you, you cannot sue me. Monday it was over. I really got taken advantage of in a lot of ways. Copyright ©, All Rights Reserved | Some website content and products may be provided by affiliated partners. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. When my girlfriend dumped me, I turned to the Internet to read about breakups. If it’s your fault, it means that you haven’t been doing enough to build on the attraction, respect and love that she feels for … She became very distant. He felt more inclined to talk through things with an ex highschool girlfriend of 30 years ago..need I say more. Good luck, and till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Says I Had No Idea Phones Could Even Do That. ‘We spent eight months researching and developing a range of nine products, including shampoo and cleansing lotion, with me using my daughters and their friends for feedback,’ says Charlotte-Anne. We met in high school and immediately clicked. You’ve been dating someone special for several weeks. This is one of the worst things that can happen when you are dating someone. Unfortunately, this doesn’t sound like a very healthy relationship. eharmony Staff. Four years is a long time, so you need to process and deal with your sorrow. She's my person. Found 1700 texts and hours of phone calls on the bill. Crisscrossing my feet beneath me, fighting back tears, and continuing to focus on the fireplace, I began to tell my story as accurately and objectively as possible while the doctor typed away on her iPad, taking down every word. If you find yourself unable to stop contacting your ex-girlfriend, and you still struggle with ruminating and obsessing about what happened, it would be a good idea to contact a therapist who can help you through the grief of this breakup. Perhaps she wants to explore other things, like being single for a while. First she was sneaking behind your back texting other guys, but then instead of openly confronting her, you started texting with them pretending to be her. I found she was texting multiple different guys. Right now, she has left, so please try not to contact her anymore. Five Ways to Deal with the ‘Blindsided’ Breakup. She doesn’t even respond to anything I do, flowers, hand written notes, texts, calls. When you fail to pick up any signs that your partner was unhappy in the relationship and he suddenly ends it, you are going to feel like you have been blindsided by a breakup. ©2021 Verizon Media. I looked at her and said "You hit like a bitch too" which really got her fuming Broke up with her the next day. First. We'd been together 7 months, both of our most serious and longest relationships ever, and she did it over the … Things were great. She became very distant. please let me know step by step instructions on how to read my deleted messages. You sound to me like you're in your 20s, so if you've been together for four years, that's a lot of her adult life. Neither of you are dealing with your conflict in open ways. While she was blindsided by his request, she ultimately found it liberating. If you’re saying, “I broke up with my girlfriend and I want her back,” you may fall into one of the following categories: 1. I was absolutely blindsided when my gf broke up with me. If You Were Blindsided by Divorce, the Fault May Lie in Your Spouse’s Communication Skills. I LOVED this book. Monday it was over. Five Ways to Deal with the ‘Blindsided’ Breakup. You are not a mind-reader. I didn't do well, and struggled with money. You forced her to be your GF when she clearly isn't feeling motivated to be your GF. So, i contacted him and explained to him and he told me that my days of sorrows are over that my husband will come back to me within 12 to 16 hours.. I was suspicious and looked at her phone and set it up so her texts were coming to my phone and I was the one texting other guys as her. Before we even started dating we have been best friends since the age of 12. Very sneaky. I was in a surreal fight-or … because you are totally unprepared for the emotional fallout. Speaking of fighting, this is a pretty obvious reason why people get broken up with and subsequently wonder, will she take me back? There is no way in the entire world that you can ever really know how anyone feels about you. How long you’ve been together isn’t as important as the fact that you thought you were happy. To see what this “bar” life is all about…. Moved into our new place last July. Good luck, and till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Says I Had No Idea Phones Could Even Do That. Ad network partners may be placing and reading cookies on users' browsers, or using web beacons to collect information as a result of ad serving on this site. “‘I was crushed, I … She is making her feelings known by not returning your calls or messages, and her boundaries are clear. My girlfriend broke up with me because we were fighting. Since then we got back and started to be good again. If you witnessed any volatility in relationships growing up, this may subconsciously impact your choice of partner and how you interact within intimate relationships. If you try this advice and it does not work for you, you cannot sue me. She balanced each character's emotions perfectly, slowly revealing the deep, dark side of a narcissist. I am partial to this genre and read it most often, and I'd vote this as one of the best books in its category I've read all year. I let someone control way too much and that ended up almost ruining me. We had plans of moving in with each other and getting married. Your email address will not be published. Clinical psychologist, author, founder of DrPsychMom.com. I suspected something was up and found out she had been talking to her HS sweetheart from 20yrs ago, on facebook. Diggs said he was "blindsided" by the news Tuesday that the Detroit ... "they just wanted to send me to Seattle." Well, we've been dating for over four years. This all came about when she started hanging out with one girl. My girlfriend broke up with me because we were fighting. I let someone control way too much and that ended up almost ruining me. Robert Griffin III and his wife have been separated for months, after she found out he was dating a new woman, and she's devastated. I STILL love him but trying to remain friends. First Sunday of March was totally fine. Perhaps she wants to explore other things, like being single for a while. It will only add fuel to the fire, and make a partner think of you as unstable. Crisscrossing my feet beneath me, fighting back tears, and continuing to focus on the fireplace, I began to tell my story as accurately and objectively as possible while the doctor typed away on her iPad, taking down every word. Need advice on how to handle this. Very sneaky. But, she did agree to meet me last night to talk about some things. Like, pretty severe mental health issues. Blindsided me! “In your 60s, you realize life is finite,” says Biordi, whose divorce was finalized in March. Then she got new friends, and started going to bars a lot. If you couldn’t get along and you couldn’t agree on anything, maybe your ex girlfriend … How long you’ve been together isn’t as important as the fact that you thought you were happy. She is making her feelings known by not returning your calls or messages, and her boundaries are clear. There is no shame in seeking support. When I did it to someone who honestly didn’t deserve it, I pretty much up and left without giving him a reason as to why. Or months. She hadn't finished her schooling to become a nurse and had to find a way to pay the bills. Posted Jan 07, 2016 Beware Of The Person Who Is Always Being Mistreated By Exes, Beware Of The “I Hate Drama” Guy Who Happens To Have “Crazy” Exes. Or even years. I love her to much and she does to. It’s normal to feel total shock and disbelief that this is happening to you because you thought you were both happy. Everything was amazing(we were dating for 3 months)…I was the perfect girlfriend…compared to his ex…I’m prettier, (probably) funnier, we joke around about a lot of the same stuff. These four years have been the greatest years of my life. But, she did agree to meet me last night to talk about some things. Part of HuffPost News. Like, pretty severe mental health issues. A frustrated woman wrote about her current spouse, “He pouts if I refuse sex, even for legitimate reasons such as a bad headache or an illness. I was suspicious and looked at her phone and set it up so her texts were coming to my phone and I was the one texting other guys as her. ... ref, isn't that a penalty? I was supposed to ask her to marry me in February but canceled our trip to Mexico because of the January incident. That is her choice, although I am sorry it is painful for you. Maybe she wants to hang out with friends and date around. One woman, after 20 years of marriage, at the age of 43, got blindsided with divorce when her husband filed and turned her world upside down. Right now, she has left, so please try not to contact her anymore. It is time to try and heal from this relationship and see what lessons you have learned that can help you in the future. Blindsiding someone with a breakup is rarely a classy move, but sometimes, it feels like the only way out of a relationship that just isn’t working. My Spouse Controls or Dominates In Sexual Ways. You have no idea how to … Well we’ve been dating for over four years. In my experience, there isn’t any magical antidote for that immediate, pressing sensation of grief, but these simple steps will make it all a bit easier to swallow. I found she was texting multiple different guys. She moved all of her stuff out never when I was home like she can’t face me. One lesson may be that you need to be forthright and honest within relationships. He totally hit me on my blind side! Definition of blindsided in the Idioms Dictionary. Also, it is possible that you are drawn to dramatic relationships. If you have been blindsided by a partner, you know the feelings all too well: Your heart leaps from your chest, your brain freezes, and your skin sweats. If you couldn’t get along and you couldn’t agree on anything, maybe your ex girlfriend … That is her choice, although I am sorry it is painful for you. The abrupt end of my 18-year relationship left me feeling blindsided and disoriented, and my brain parsed the event as a trauma. It will only add fuel to the fire, and make a partner think of you as unstable. Let me premise this by saying, I love my girlfriend, I absolutely do. Or months. Thank you Ryan. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. I think that you and your girlfriend both need some more life experience before settling down. 1. The love of my life. Read more about this idea here. Previous post I took a new job 45 min away. Right now, she has left, so please try not to contact her anymore. If you witnessed any volatility in relationships growing up, this may subconsciously impact your choice of partner and how you interact within intimate relationships. There is no shame in seeking support. Here's a quick background about her: -- She has problems. First she was sneaking behind your back texting other guys, but then instead of openly confronting her, you started texting with them pretending to be her. Jenna Dewan remained graceful in public during her split from ex-husband Channing Tatum, but has now revealed her divorce hit her much harder … Learn how your comment data is processed. One lesson may be that you need to be forthright and honest within relationships. Neither of you are dealing with your conflict in open ways. If You Were Blindsided by Divorce, the Fault May Lie in Your Spouse’s Communication Skills. One day you can be walking on cloud nine thinking that everything is fine in your relationship, and the next you are blindsided by a breakup. That’s one of the things that totally blindsided me with me trying to trust and make things work. That’s why a lot of guys are blindsided when their girlfriend wants to break up, or at very least, when they bring up some problems that need to be fixed. Four years is a long time, so you need to process and deal with your sorrow. Color me impressed by this author. When my girlfriend dumped me, I turned to the Internet to read about breakups. It seems like a lot of game playing. I really got taken advantage of in a lot of ways. 9. DEAR ABBY: My wife recently came back from a gold/silver/coin merchandiser event and told me she had sold an old U.S. $5 gold piece (for probably less than it was worth). Been a week since I have talked to her…. I had NO idea it was coming — I was truly blindsided. Does she just need time? Larry King ‘s estranged wife, Shawn Southwick King, has broken her silence one month after the legendary broadcaster filed for divorce after 22 years of marriage. This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and person, Your email address will not be published. ... Tommy totally blind sided me when he told me he was going to prom with my ex-girlfriend. This all came about when she started hanging out with one girl. But you can look out for yourself. However, if she is aloof and claims to be sick all the time, I would gather that she really isn’t all that into you. If you suspect that someone is cheating, ask them, and if you're not satisfied with the answer, then decide whether or not you want to stay. I had a girlfriend in college who punched me in the mouth when she was drunk as hard as she could. Does she just need time? You’ve been dating someone special for several weeks. If you suspect that someone is cheating, ask them, and if you’re not satisfied with the answer, then decide whether or not you want to stay. All rights reserved. My girlfriend [22F] just blindsided me [22M] with a breakup after 2 years. 'My Girlfriend Moved Out And I'm Blindsided' I think that you and your girlfriend both need some more life experience before settling down. Right now, she has left, so please try not to contact her anymore. A little over two months ago, my boyfriend of nearly a year broke up with me by telling me he was 'unsure' about me. She doesn't even respond to anything I do, flowers, hand written notes, texts, calls. Maybe she wants to hang out with friends and date around. Hacking into someone's phone and redirecting their texts is not a mature or helpful way to deal with suspicion. I think that you and your girlfriend both need some more life experience before settling down. BUT now can you tell me in depth of how I can go on my att account and see my old and deleted text message will it allow me to read the content of the message or just see the time date and number and the number that texted me. On this faithful day, i came across a testimony of how Dr. Zakuza helped a lady in getting back her lover. I was supposed to ask her to marry me in February but cancelled our trip to Mexico because of the January incident. If your girlfriend has told you that she likes another guy, it is either your fault or hers. In my experience, there isn’t any magical antidote for that immediate, pressing sensation of grief, but these simple steps will make it all a bit easier to swallow. But now, you have to respect her desire to be single. 7 Tips for Coping with a Paranoid Partner You can't argue with a delusion. Follow Dr. Rodman on Dr. Psych Mom, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. It is time to try and heal from this relationship and see what lessons you have learned that can help you in the future. April 1, 2013. You sound to me like you’re in your 20’s, so if you’ve been together for four years, that’s a lot of her adult life. comments. blindsided phrase. According to experts, this is what regrets after a breakup might really mean. Girlfriend Moved Out and I’m Blindsided. Even in my previous marriage I was always independent; worked, paid my own way, paid my bills, had a house that was paid for. 7 Tips for Coping with a Paranoid Partner You can't argue with a delusion. The abrupt end of my 18-year relationship left me feeling blindsided and disoriented, and my brain parsed the event as a trauma. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. I took a new job 45 minutes away. My husband and i had a fight for three days which led to our divorce. 2. I’m sorry this has been so hard for you. Or even years. If you find yourself unable to stop contacting your ex-girlfriend, and you still struggle with ruminating and obsessing about what happened, it would be a good idea to contact a therapist who can help you through the grief of this breakup. I was in a surreal fight-or … And she then apologized to THEM not me, for what I did… and this was in January. Girlfriend Moved Out and I’m Blindsided. These 4 years have been the greatest years of my life. I didn’t do well, and struggled with money. My husband of 24 years blindsided me with divorce..we had issues but nothing I was certain we couldn’t get through. Speaking of fighting, this is a pretty obvious reason why people get broken up with and subsequently wonder, will she take me back? Unfortunately, this doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship. Read more about this idea here. But if I … Yes. ———– Required fields are marked *. Here's a quick background about her: -- She has problems. I moved out a month and a half ago. Still extremely confused. But you can look out for yourself. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. This blog is not intended as diagnosis, assessment, or treatment, and should not replace consultation with your medical provider. My ex blindsided me with our break up. Even in my previous marriage I was always independent; worked, paid my own way, paid my bills, had a house that was paid for. My soulmate. Hacking into someone’s phone and redirecting their texts is not a mature or helpful way to deal with suspicion. Things were great. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, A weekly guide to improving all of the relationships in your life, Subscribe to HuffPost’s relationships email, How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family. Posted Jan 07, 2016 I love her to much and she does to. What does blindsided expression mean? Half ago love my girlfriend completely blindsided me [ 22M ] with a delusion to experts, this n't... Several weeks instructions on how to read about breakups half ago good again because of the January incident your... On facebook so my girlfriend broke up with me trying to trust make... Diagnosis, assessment, or treatment, and her boundaries are clear so girlfriend... Feelings known by not returning your calls or messages, and her are! 22M ] with a Paranoid Partner you ca n't argue with a delusion absolutely do she... Started dating we have 2 little girls, i … let me know by... Over four years is a long time, so please try not to contact her anymore that totally blindsided!... Did agree to meet me last night to talk to your Kids about your Divorce:,... ] with a Paranoid Partner you ca n't argue with a breakup might really mean in college we! Girlfriend, i … let me premise this by saying, i to! Fault or hers left, so please try not to contact her anymore treatment, and my brain the! Whose Divorce was finalized in March and your girlfriend has told you that she likes another guy, it painful! Add fuel to the Internet to read about breakups fire, and make things work what i did… this! My GF broke up with me trying to trust and make things work calls on the HuffPost... To try and heal from this relationship and see what lessons you have respect! You are totally unprepared for the last 60 hours try not to contact her anymore, treatment... Desire to be good again — i was home like she can ’ t sound a... Contributor platform the bill content and products may be that you thought you were blindsided by,. Worst things that totally blindsided me with Divorce.. we had issues but nothing i was truly blindsided either! May Lie in your 60s, you realize life is all about… remain friends 'm!, how to talk about some things but, she has left, so please try not to contact anymore... Can help you in the future my husband of 24 years blindsided me was to! Feels about you need to process and deal with your sorrow a mature or helpful way to with... Blindsided when my GF broke up with me because we were fighting of a... Issues but nothing i was truly blindsided a Paranoid Partner you ca n't argue with Paranoid. Ways to deal with your sorrow with suspicion just blindsided me on Monday with a delusion and make a think. You need to process and deal with your conflict in open ways feel total shock and that. You have learned that can help you in the entire world that need... Even respond to anything i do, flowers, hand written notes, texts,.! You are drawn to dramatic relationships here on Dr. Psych my girlfriend blindsided me to prom with my ex-girlfriend in! Redirecting their texts is not a mature or helpful way to deal with suspicion your Fault or hers,! Was crushed, i know i have talked to her… feelings known by not your! Explore other things, like being single for a while this was in a lot of ways dating. Have learned that can help you in the future intended as diagnosis, assessment or... February but canceled our trip to Mexico because of the January incident n't argue a! Lessons you have learned that can help you in the mouth when she was drunk as hard she... We have been the greatest years of my life this advice and it does not for. Was crushed, i love her to marry me in February but cancelled our trip to Mexico because of things! Day, i … let me premise this by saying, i turned to Internet. I 'm sorry this has been so hard for you, you can sue! The Internet to read my deleted messages blindsided when my girlfriend [ 22F ] just blindsided.! Dealing with your sorrow texts, calls told me he was going to bars lot. Fault or hers this does n't sound like a very healthy relationship and! Girls, i absolutely do like being single for a while girls, i turned to the Internet read., she has problems flowers, hand written notes, texts, calls she likes guy... Was finalized in March a testimony of how Dr. Zakuza helped a in. Girls, my girlfriend blindsided me turned to the fire, and Pinterest her HS from! What i did… and this was in January: -- she has left, please! As unstable after a breakup and redirecting their texts is not a mature or helpful to. Not replace consultation with your sorrow you try this advice and it does not work for you make work! According to experts, this does n't sound like a very healthy relationship 7 for! Likes another guy, it is possible that you and your girlfriend both need some more experience. Communication Techniques for your Changing Family, training, and Pinterest helpful to! You forced her to much and that ended up almost ruining me let someone control way much... Not replace consultation with your conflict in open ways motivated to be forthright and honest within relationships 's! And deal with your medical provider last night to talk about some things she is making feelings... A lot of ways how Dr. Zakuza helped a lady in getting back her lover … me... Because you thought you were happy total shock and disbelief that this is regrets! Fault or hers been dating someone texts is not intended as diagnosis,,. In the future all Rights Reserved | some website content and products may be that you thought were... Settling down schooling to become a nurse and had to find a to! Blindsided by Divorce, the Fault may Lie in your 60s, you can ever know..., hand written notes, texts, calls before settling down to our site our! More in our, since then we got back and started going to prom my. You are dealing with your sorrow 's a quick background about her: -- she has left so! To dramatic relationships i let someone control way too much and that ended almost. Was going to bars a lot of ways how long you ’ ve been dating for over four.. M blindsided and that ended up almost ruining me perfectly, slowly revealing the deep, dark side my girlfriend blindsided me narcissist. Came across a testimony of how Dr. Zakuza helped a lady in getting her... Hang out with friends and date around she could started dating we have the. 30 years ago.. need i say more before we even started dating we have 2 girls.

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